Recently, I've realized just how much I say the phrases "Sure, yeah" and "Yeah, sure." And I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet.
Also, I made a promise to myself many, many years ago (what feels like a lifetime, to be honest) that once I walked away from the church, I wouldn't go back. Promise broken. I promised myself that I wouldn't regret leaving, because life was clearly better on the outside. Promise broken. In one moment of complete weakness, I also promised that if I heard one specific song in worship again (remember that I never thought I would go back, so it was a moot point), I would take that as a sign that I was in the right place...or something. I honestly didn't know at that point what I would do if I ever heard that song again, because every time i'd heard it before, it had torn my heart out and put the words of that feeling on the screen in front of me. Or it just tore my heart out and stood there in front of me, holding my still-beating heart, grinning. And, let me tell you, not many songs can do that to me. I could probably name all of them on one hand, and still have fingers left when I'm done counting. Off the top of my head, I count two. And lately, I've been searching out songs that produce those reactions in me, just to prove that I'm still alive.
Instead, it seems, I've found something else in my quest for heart-tearing songs. Something completely different, and yet, completely perfect. I'm loath to talk about, for now at least. But don't worry, it's nothing important enough to not have told the most important people (KG). For now, I think, I'll just scoot off to bed; morning comes way too early these days.
Until next time, keep fit and have fun!
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won.
All alone,
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything."
Where were You
When everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone
That never rang.
When all I needed was a call
From the corner of First and Amistad?
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd You have to wait?
Where were You? Where were You?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me
In the end,
Everyone ends up alone.
Losing her;
The only one who's ever known
Who I am,
Who I'm not and who I wanna be.
No way to know
How long she will be next to me.
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were You? Where were You?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me
Early morning
The city breaks.
I've been calling
For years and years and years and years,
And You never left me no messages.
You never sent me no letters.
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all I want.
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you? Where were You?
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were You?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me.
Why'd You have to wait
To find me, to find me?
You Found Me-The Fray
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won.
All alone,
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything."
Where were You
When everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone
That never rang.
When all I needed was a call
From the corner of First and Amistad?
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd You have to wait?
Where were You? Where were You?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me
In the end,
Everyone ends up alone.
Losing her;
The only one who's ever known
Who I am,
Who I'm not and who I wanna be.
No way to know
How long she will be next to me.
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were You? Where were You?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me
Early morning
The city breaks.
I've been calling
For years and years and years and years,
And You never left me no messages.
You never sent me no letters.
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all I want.
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you? Where were You?
Lost and insecure
You found me, You found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were You?
Just a little late
You found me, You found me.
Why'd You have to wait
To find me, to find me?
You Found Me-The Fray
Monday, 27 September 2010
At the moment, I'm sitting in my friendly LC Library Computer Lab, "doing my homework." And it's going SO well, can't you tell?
On this assignment, we're supposed to make an organizational chart, detailing how our restaurant is run. And, let me tell you, that is easier said than done. When D first explained this assignment to us, my first reaction was "...how many branches are allowed to be on the tree? And can it be one of those trees that burrows a root underground for a while, and shoots it back up in the middle of nowhere to make a new tree?" I can't even make it LOGIGAL, let alone organized! Needless to say, this assignment isn't off to the greatest start, and it isn't likely to get much better. But, it's for school, so I'm going to do my best and hope for the best (and that D's having a good day when he grades it).
[We interrupt this post for a funny story: My cell phone just rang, and as I was running out of the library (which has ZERO cell service...I'm still trying to figure out how it even rang in the first place), I practically walked right into Mr and Mrs Pawlak, their son M, and who I'm assuming to be M's girlfriend (what, with the public hand-holding and all). As weird as that was, and with all the double takes I had to do (my brain has been into playing tricks on me lately, and unfortunately, hallucination is one of the more popular ones), M was the only one who recognized me! But it was only for a second, and because I was talking on my phone and not really waving at them, he probably thought it wasn't me. Then, about 3 minutes later, I'm sitting on the side of the hallway (still on my phone, thinking if I should go chase them down and say hi or not...I mean, I was talking with my lawyer), they walk by again. This time, Mrs looks right at me, I wave while making eye contact, and she STILL DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME. Ah well. The next time I'm in RD, I'll give them a hard time for it.]
So, back to my assignment (but not really). I've realized lately that when I'm in a good mood, I'm a particularly parenthetical writer (and thinking that about myself makes me smile... mostly because it's fun to say). Also, back in the summer, my mom said something to me that I've never heard before: "You should write a book; like Waiter Rant (she's lately obsessed with that book/blog). You're a good writer, you should totally go for it!" Honestly, I've never been told that I'm a good writer. I write to vent, rant, explain, keep from exploding, or even, just to write. I'm finding myself kind of weird that way. I'll be good at something, but I'd rather stay in the background and teach/counsil/advise/correct/whatever; I'll stay justjust out of the spotlight. And wouldn't you know? I'm happy here. I'm happy in the shadow of the limelight, and even though I do get my moment every once in a while, it's usually enough for me. I wish I had the confidence to go and grab the bull by the horns and not take no for an answer, risk it all, and hit it big time. But the risking is the thing I have the greatest trouble doing. I'm happy and comfortable in my little self-created bubble, and despite many people trying to get me out of my bubble, so one's succeeded yet. So I'll keep on keeping on, and hopefully one day I'll change. Maybe. If I feel like it that day.
I've also recently come to the horrible realization that I might not hate Michael Bublé as much as I intended, which is quite distressing. He's good, quite good actually, and despite the fact that I've always proclaimed to hate him... I can't quite do that anymore. What am I going to focus my hatred on now, if it's not Matt Dusk's main competition in the music industry? I think this is one of those pure *facepalm* moments life loves throwing at me. However, I'll take 10 *facepalm* moments over one hallucination any day. And if they don't go away sooner or later, I'll probably have to go see someone to make sure I'm not insane or anything. Lovely.
On this assignment, we're supposed to make an organizational chart, detailing how our restaurant is run. And, let me tell you, that is easier said than done. When D first explained this assignment to us, my first reaction was "...how many branches are allowed to be on the tree? And can it be one of those trees that burrows a root underground for a while, and shoots it back up in the middle of nowhere to make a new tree?" I can't even make it LOGIGAL, let alone organized! Needless to say, this assignment isn't off to the greatest start, and it isn't likely to get much better. But, it's for school, so I'm going to do my best and hope for the best (and that D's having a good day when he grades it).
[We interrupt this post for a funny story: My cell phone just rang, and as I was running out of the library (which has ZERO cell service...I'm still trying to figure out how it even rang in the first place), I practically walked right into Mr and Mrs Pawlak, their son M, and who I'm assuming to be M's girlfriend (what, with the public hand-holding and all). As weird as that was, and with all the double takes I had to do (my brain has been into playing tricks on me lately, and unfortunately, hallucination is one of the more popular ones), M was the only one who recognized me! But it was only for a second, and because I was talking on my phone and not really waving at them, he probably thought it wasn't me. Then, about 3 minutes later, I'm sitting on the side of the hallway (still on my phone, thinking if I should go chase them down and say hi or not...I mean, I was talking with my lawyer), they walk by again. This time, Mrs looks right at me, I wave while making eye contact, and she STILL DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME. Ah well. The next time I'm in RD, I'll give them a hard time for it.]
So, back to my assignment (but not really). I've realized lately that when I'm in a good mood, I'm a particularly parenthetical writer (and thinking that about myself makes me smile... mostly because it's fun to say). Also, back in the summer, my mom said something to me that I've never heard before: "You should write a book; like Waiter Rant (she's lately obsessed with that book/blog). You're a good writer, you should totally go for it!" Honestly, I've never been told that I'm a good writer. I write to vent, rant, explain, keep from exploding, or even, just to write. I'm finding myself kind of weird that way. I'll be good at something, but I'd rather stay in the background and teach/counsil/advise/correct/whatever; I'll stay justjust out of the spotlight. And wouldn't you know? I'm happy here. I'm happy in the shadow of the limelight, and even though I do get my moment every once in a while, it's usually enough for me. I wish I had the confidence to go and grab the bull by the horns and not take no for an answer, risk it all, and hit it big time. But the risking is the thing I have the greatest trouble doing. I'm happy and comfortable in my little self-created bubble, and despite many people trying to get me out of my bubble, so one's succeeded yet. So I'll keep on keeping on, and hopefully one day I'll change. Maybe. If I feel like it that day.
I've also recently come to the horrible realization that I might not hate Michael Bublé as much as I intended, which is quite distressing. He's good, quite good actually, and despite the fact that I've always proclaimed to hate him... I can't quite do that anymore. What am I going to focus my hatred on now, if it's not Matt Dusk's main competition in the music industry? I think this is one of those pure *facepalm* moments life loves throwing at me. However, I'll take 10 *facepalm* moments over one hallucination any day. And if they don't go away sooner or later, I'll probably have to go see someone to make sure I'm not insane or anything. Lovely.
Also, I have seen waaay too many pairs of short shorts being worn today.
Keep fit and have fun all!
Thursday, 22 July 2010
happy boys and happy girl[s]
Greatest quote of the day? "You'll NEVER forget working here! This is probably the best thing that's ever happened to you. Don't deny it."
...oh, how right you were, Leilei.
...oh, how right you were, Leilei.
Sunday, 18 July 2010
And life goes on...and on and on and on.
What up! I've decided that after an undetermined period of time, that I'll give this a shot again. It's been a while, that's for sure, and I'm not totally sure if I'm sad about it yet.
Life's been interesting, to say the least, and it' sure as heck moved on. Two years of school down, one to go! I'm STOKED to graduate! Also, I thought I'd share my recent (or not so recent) accomplishments, because I'm sure that everyone outside of the blog world is tired of hearing about them by now.
First: I was hit by a car in October. I'll set the scene for you: I'm at work, and it's day 10 of 13 in a row, so I'm over eating pizza, salads and pasta for lunch and decide to visit a friend who works at a restaurant 2 blocks away, and get lunch there. I'm waiting for the light to turn green at the first intersection, then it does, I start walking, and BAM! I'm hit by a car, and lying on the ground before I realize what's even happened. I remember the sound of his engine accelerating, my gasp when he hit me, the sound of him hitting me, flying through the air (although to be fair, I thought I'd imagined this, but after reading the witness statements, I was reassured), hitting the ground, my face skidding along the concrete, etc... so everything. A lot happened in about 5 minutes, and my life changed yet again. I daresay that I'm almost used to life shit-kicking me by now, if anyone can believe that. So I just laid there as everything was happening around me. There were a few moments when I was strapped to the backboard, unable to move, when all I wanted was to jump off and yell 'Just kidding!' and go back to work. No deal. But nothing was broken (pretty much a miracle), so I'm thankful for that. Anyways, after months and months of physical therapy/testing/generally gimping around, I can pretty much walk normally again...-ish. But I'm dealing with that.
Second: <-- the place I finished in my practical exam in Second year! I lost First by a whopping 0.5%, and I'm mostly over it now. So after 2 years of freaking out about this exam that everyone had told me was brutal (to say the least), I finished with a 95%. 6 months after being hit by a car. TAKE THAT, LIFE. Now, on to Third year. Then the big leagues.
Speaking of the big leagues, here's my plan for the next year and six months (cue the song One Year, Six Months by Yellowcard): move back to Leth and in with T, kick the junk out of Third year, graduate, spend the summer either in Leth or RD*, make some cash, save lots of cash, in the fall, do a semester at the Uni, finish my first year so I'm able to transfer if I want, x-mas in RD, then flee the country for an undetermined period of time!! (Forever?)
*During the summer, I'm planning on taking a trip, and gallivanting through a few European countries, with Scotland as my main focus. Also, when I flee the country, I plan on landing in Scotland, and living happily ever after.
Speaking of happily ever after, a whole bunch of my friends got married within the past month. Like, a WHOLE BUNCH. Mic+Jer, Sel+Ger, Ste+Jan, Cas+Jon, Jen+Curt, and those that are yet to come this summer: Kim+Jon, Tif+Gre, Rob+Dane. So here's my shout-out to all you happy people: CONGRATULATIONS!! I wish I could be there on your happy days, but hopefully my well-wishes will suffice. I want to be jealous of all the happiness, but somehow, even being sad that I'm missing out on some of the happiness, I'm not jealous anymore. It'll happen when/if it happens for me. I'm good with that. For now.
And for the moment, that seems enough of an update to keep whoever may stumble across this busy for a few minutes, at the very least.
Until next time, keep fit and have fun.
Peace!
Life's been interesting, to say the least, and it' sure as heck moved on. Two years of school down, one to go! I'm STOKED to graduate! Also, I thought I'd share my recent (or not so recent) accomplishments, because I'm sure that everyone outside of the blog world is tired of hearing about them by now.
First: I was hit by a car in October. I'll set the scene for you: I'm at work, and it's day 10 of 13 in a row, so I'm over eating pizza, salads and pasta for lunch and decide to visit a friend who works at a restaurant 2 blocks away, and get lunch there. I'm waiting for the light to turn green at the first intersection, then it does, I start walking, and BAM! I'm hit by a car, and lying on the ground before I realize what's even happened. I remember the sound of his engine accelerating, my gasp when he hit me, the sound of him hitting me, flying through the air (although to be fair, I thought I'd imagined this, but after reading the witness statements, I was reassured), hitting the ground, my face skidding along the concrete, etc... so everything. A lot happened in about 5 minutes, and my life changed yet again. I daresay that I'm almost used to life shit-kicking me by now, if anyone can believe that. So I just laid there as everything was happening around me. There were a few moments when I was strapped to the backboard, unable to move, when all I wanted was to jump off and yell 'Just kidding!' and go back to work. No deal. But nothing was broken (pretty much a miracle), so I'm thankful for that. Anyways, after months and months of physical therapy/testing/generally gimping around, I can pretty much walk normally again...-ish. But I'm dealing with that.
Second: <-- the place I finished in my practical exam in Second year! I lost First by a whopping 0.5%, and I'm mostly over it now. So after 2 years of freaking out about this exam that everyone had told me was brutal (to say the least), I finished with a 95%. 6 months after being hit by a car. TAKE THAT, LIFE. Now, on to Third year. Then the big leagues.
Speaking of the big leagues, here's my plan for the next year and six months (cue the song One Year, Six Months by Yellowcard): move back to Leth and in with T, kick the junk out of Third year, graduate, spend the summer either in Leth or RD*, make some cash, save lots of cash, in the fall, do a semester at the Uni, finish my first year so I'm able to transfer if I want, x-mas in RD, then flee the country for an undetermined period of time!! (Forever?)
*During the summer, I'm planning on taking a trip, and gallivanting through a few European countries, with Scotland as my main focus. Also, when I flee the country, I plan on landing in Scotland, and living happily ever after.
Speaking of happily ever after, a whole bunch of my friends got married within the past month. Like, a WHOLE BUNCH. Mic+Jer, Sel+Ger, Ste+Jan, Cas+Jon, Jen+Curt, and those that are yet to come this summer: Kim+Jon, Tif+Gre, Rob+Dane. So here's my shout-out to all you happy people: CONGRATULATIONS!! I wish I could be there on your happy days, but hopefully my well-wishes will suffice. I want to be jealous of all the happiness, but somehow, even being sad that I'm missing out on some of the happiness, I'm not jealous anymore. It'll happen when/if it happens for me. I'm good with that. For now.
And for the moment, that seems enough of an update to keep whoever may stumble across this busy for a few minutes, at the very least.
Until next time, keep fit and have fun.
Peace!
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
...I guess I'll have to wait a little longer.
So I spent the last few days at E-green, and realize why I miss it. I knew this would happen, and still went. Can't believe I did that to myself. Again. Now I'm trying to convince myself that I DON'T want to go back. Crap.
Friday, 21 May 2010
"...I should never be left with my mind for too long."
Every time I think I want to write again, I always start by going through my old posts, to see how I've advanced in my life and writing. It seldom ever happens that I actually end up writing after reading my old crap. So, here I go again, trying to make a go at this thing.
I'll start with the big news: I am no longer employed, but am simply a drifter (hopefully only for the next week or so). Yesterday was my last at a job I've had for the past 23 months; the longest I've ever had a job. It was sad, leaving, but for the best, I think (hope!). I need to, as my boss said, "get out for a while and learn to hate a whole new group of people." Well said, K; I couldn't have put it better myself. That being said, I've given my word that I would come back in the fall, provided they haven't found anyone to fill the void N and I have created in the schedule. I have a feeling that I won't regret leaving, but also have that apprehension that precedes a big change. I've only recently started to get comfortable in my life, and despite going stir-crazy at work, have been pretty darn happy lately. So why the need for a change?
I think the thing that changed my mind for certain was being hit by a car, back in October. In that small space of time between landing, realizing what the hell had just happened, trying to figure out if I was broken or not (and how badly), and realizing I had to lay there until the ambulance came to scrape me off the pavement, I thought. And I thought a LOT. It was probably only about 5 minutes in real time, but when you're lying in the middle of the street with a car parked 6 inches from your face and are being told not to move, that 5 minutes feels like 15 or 20. After studying the tire next to my face and introducing myself to the people kneeling beside me, helping me wait for the ambulance (a big shout-out to Kevin and Tracy! I owe you big time!!), the sequence of my thoughts went a little something like this:
-'Oh my god. What the hell just happened?! And did I hallucinate flying through the air, or was that real?'
-(After rolling over, then realizing that was a bad idea, thinking of my first aid training) 'Shit. I wonder if anything's broken. I hope nothing's broken.' (Moving fingers, toes, arms and legs) 'It doesn't feel like anything's broken, but my left knee hurts like a bitch. Crap.'
-'I vaguely remember landing on my face and skidding around a bit. I hope my face isn't broken.'
-'I think my nose is running.' (Which, unbeknownst to me at the time, was blood running down my face from the cut just under my nose.)
-'Shit. I'm on my break at work!! What the hell are they going to do without me tonight?! It was only me and N on line!'
-'Must call work and tell them I'll be late back from my break.'
-Called work and told W what just happened. The conversation went something like this:
W: "Thank you for calling CP, this is W, how may I help you?"
L: "Hey W, it's L. So I was just hit by a car, and I'm just waiting for the ambulance. Could you tell N that I'm really sorry and will probably be late back from my break, please?"
W: "You what?! Where are you?! Are you okay?! What happened?!"
L: "Well, I was crossing 3rd and 13th (which happens to be the intersection closest to my work), and a car hit me. So I'm lying in the intersection *looking up at the streetlights* ...well, just out of the intersection, waiting for the ambulance. I'll probably have to go for x-rays and stuff, so I'll let you know what's going on when I know, k?"
[Note: This is where my recollection of the conversation gets a little fuzzy, because I tried moving my legs and they started to hurt quite a bit/I realized that I probably shouldn't be on the phone with WORK. So I'm sure the conversation was longer than this, but my mind started to drift to more important things, like what I'd tell my mom. Or if I'd even tell her.]
W: "Oh my god. Okay, yeah, let me know if you need anything."
L: "Yeah, definitely. Tell N I'm sorry, please, and that I'll be back as soon as I can."
W: "Okay, I'll do that. Bye."
L: "Bye."
*end of call*
-'Crap. Now I'm not going to get to go to Scotland next summer. Figures.'
-'The sky is really beautiful today. The green of the streetlight goes well with it, too.'
...and it was about this time that the paramedics got on scene, so their questions kind of took over my thoughts until I got to the hospital. It was a rather eventful day, to say the least. But, in hindsight, probably the best thing that happened to me in a long, long time. While I was immobile/recovering/basically sitting on my ass for the better part of a month, I had time to re-adjust myself mentally, and come to the conclusion that I wouldn't be going to Scotland; yet another disappointment in my life. Oh well. I also came to the realization that I wasn't giving CP my all, and decided that when I got back into the swing of things, I would. For better or worse. Turns out it was all for the better, because it earned me the respect I'd been looking for from my boss, since I started. At least, I think it did anyway.
Enough about that now, though. On to happier things, like what the heck I'm going to do with my summer free of CP. Mayhaps working at a restaurant in RD? Mayhaps not working at a restaurant in RD, if no one will hire me? Go back to Sears (ugh) for the summer, thus proving them right for the second time since I quit "for good" in high school? Hopefully not the last option, but it's still better than being a hobo for three months (no offence to hobos intended). Maybe find something else fun in RD (if that even exists?). I'm open to almost all options at this point, and if it's fun enough, I'm even open to staying in RD, come the fall. I think the only thing bringing me back to Leth is school. And CP. (Will I lose my job if I don't say CP?) But school is definitely #1 on that list, and, right now, I'm not sad to leave CP.
But I'll definitely come back for the boys in my class. Wow, okay, that sounded more than a little wrong. That's not what I meant, I promise. So I'm signing off today with a couple quotes I saw on Twitter today...
I love Friday. Friday is like my best friend. Saturday is like my mum and Sundays are like my nan. Monday is Hitler.
"I need commitment" said Amy. Mark ripped off his shirt and wrote "Amy's" on his chest in permanent marker. Now, she felt safe to love him.
I'll start with the big news: I am no longer employed, but am simply a drifter (hopefully only for the next week or so). Yesterday was my last at a job I've had for the past 23 months; the longest I've ever had a job. It was sad, leaving, but for the best, I think (hope!). I need to, as my boss said, "get out for a while and learn to hate a whole new group of people." Well said, K; I couldn't have put it better myself. That being said, I've given my word that I would come back in the fall, provided they haven't found anyone to fill the void N and I have created in the schedule. I have a feeling that I won't regret leaving, but also have that apprehension that precedes a big change. I've only recently started to get comfortable in my life, and despite going stir-crazy at work, have been pretty darn happy lately. So why the need for a change?
I think the thing that changed my mind for certain was being hit by a car, back in October. In that small space of time between landing, realizing what the hell had just happened, trying to figure out if I was broken or not (and how badly), and realizing I had to lay there until the ambulance came to scrape me off the pavement, I thought. And I thought a LOT. It was probably only about 5 minutes in real time, but when you're lying in the middle of the street with a car parked 6 inches from your face and are being told not to move, that 5 minutes feels like 15 or 20. After studying the tire next to my face and introducing myself to the people kneeling beside me, helping me wait for the ambulance (a big shout-out to Kevin and Tracy! I owe you big time!!), the sequence of my thoughts went a little something like this:
-'Oh my god. What the hell just happened?! And did I hallucinate flying through the air, or was that real?'
-(After rolling over, then realizing that was a bad idea, thinking of my first aid training) 'Shit. I wonder if anything's broken. I hope nothing's broken.' (Moving fingers, toes, arms and legs) 'It doesn't feel like anything's broken, but my left knee hurts like a bitch. Crap.'
-'I vaguely remember landing on my face and skidding around a bit. I hope my face isn't broken.'
-'I think my nose is running.' (Which, unbeknownst to me at the time, was blood running down my face from the cut just under my nose.)
-'Shit. I'm on my break at work!! What the hell are they going to do without me tonight?! It was only me and N on line!'
-'Must call work and tell them I'll be late back from my break.'
-Called work and told W what just happened. The conversation went something like this:
W: "Thank you for calling CP, this is W, how may I help you?"
L: "Hey W, it's L. So I was just hit by a car, and I'm just waiting for the ambulance. Could you tell N that I'm really sorry and will probably be late back from my break, please?"
W: "You what?! Where are you?! Are you okay?! What happened?!"
L: "Well, I was crossing 3rd and 13th (which happens to be the intersection closest to my work), and a car hit me. So I'm lying in the intersection *looking up at the streetlights* ...well, just out of the intersection, waiting for the ambulance. I'll probably have to go for x-rays and stuff, so I'll let you know what's going on when I know, k?"
[Note: This is where my recollection of the conversation gets a little fuzzy, because I tried moving my legs and they started to hurt quite a bit/I realized that I probably shouldn't be on the phone with WORK. So I'm sure the conversation was longer than this, but my mind started to drift to more important things, like what I'd tell my mom. Or if I'd even tell her.]
W: "Oh my god. Okay, yeah, let me know if you need anything."
L: "Yeah, definitely. Tell N I'm sorry, please, and that I'll be back as soon as I can."
W: "Okay, I'll do that. Bye."
L: "Bye."
*end of call*
-'Crap. Now I'm not going to get to go to Scotland next summer. Figures.'
-'The sky is really beautiful today. The green of the streetlight goes well with it, too.'
...and it was about this time that the paramedics got on scene, so their questions kind of took over my thoughts until I got to the hospital. It was a rather eventful day, to say the least. But, in hindsight, probably the best thing that happened to me in a long, long time. While I was immobile/recovering/basically sitting on my ass for the better part of a month, I had time to re-adjust myself mentally, and come to the conclusion that I wouldn't be going to Scotland; yet another disappointment in my life. Oh well. I also came to the realization that I wasn't giving CP my all, and decided that when I got back into the swing of things, I would. For better or worse. Turns out it was all for the better, because it earned me the respect I'd been looking for from my boss, since I started. At least, I think it did anyway.
Enough about that now, though. On to happier things, like what the heck I'm going to do with my summer free of CP. Mayhaps working at a restaurant in RD? Mayhaps not working at a restaurant in RD, if no one will hire me? Go back to Sears (ugh) for the summer, thus proving them right for the second time since I quit "for good" in high school? Hopefully not the last option, but it's still better than being a hobo for three months (no offence to hobos intended). Maybe find something else fun in RD (if that even exists?). I'm open to almost all options at this point, and if it's fun enough, I'm even open to staying in RD, come the fall. I think the only thing bringing me back to Leth is school. And CP. (Will I lose my job if I don't say CP?) But school is definitely #1 on that list, and, right now, I'm not sad to leave CP.
But I'll definitely come back for the boys in my class. Wow, okay, that sounded more than a little wrong. That's not what I meant, I promise. So I'm signing off today with a couple quotes I saw on Twitter today...
I love Friday. Friday is like my best friend. Saturday is like my mum and Sundays are like my nan. Monday is Hitler.
"I need commitment" said Amy. Mark ripped off his shirt and wrote "Amy's" on his chest in permanent marker. Now, she felt safe to love him.
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