Things I've found in my grandma's house...

After perusing the pages in this gem, I think a more appropriate title would be "The New Horrors of Jell-o."

...it's a cookbook.

Happy effing Christmas everyone.

I'm drinking years-old sparkling wine out of a shatterproof glass, 

in front of a two-foot-tall fibre optic Christmas tree.

'Tis the season for funerals, apparently. The job interview I was supposed to have this morning was cancelled due to a death in my potential boss' family, and now mom and I are headed to SK for the same reason.

I still have a smidgen of hope somewhere that I'll get a job in January... I think.

12.21.12

So many funerals, so little time. Not quite, but by this time next week, I'll have been to two in 11 days... all while watching updates everyday about multiple funerals in Newtown. I feel like I've been to a funeral every day since last Friday, and it's exhausting.

Living in this constant state of sadness isn't the point of life. God gave us life, to rejoice and live it fully for Him. Sure, there will be times of sadness, but we still need to rejoice the Lord gave us life at all.

My mom and I are being coerced into going to SK for Christmas then yet another funeral, this one for my cousin's husband who suddenly died this morning. This one's hard for me though, because I haven't seen any of my SK family since my cousin's wedding in... '07? '08? A long time ago, regardless. (This is also the same cousin whose husband just died, for the record.)

I'm also missing the End of the World/Farewell Dan&Lisa Potluck at my church in Leth, and that hurts, too. I'm missing time with people who love God and who love me unconditionally and who encourage me simply by looking at me and smiling, to spend time with people who haven't spoken to me in nearly 5 years and who believe I'm fat and lazy and will never amount to anything in my life (this isn't an assumption on my part; I've been told variations on the previous statement by multiple people on multiple occasions). Which of these two is my family, do you suspect? Either way, you're right.

I have no choice but to keep on keepin' on.

God is good. All the time. God is good.

Blah Friday

In an effort to not be completely maudlin, I'm spending the day drinking sparkly tea, singing along and dancing to happy/fun music, and cleaning my room... all with socks in my hair.

Happy Friday, y'all!!

let me feel You shine...

Hey all. Sorry I haven't been posting more since coming back to the world of consistent internet connections...

I thought I'd have all these new stories to write about since coming back to RD and getting this new fancy job and mostly just having a whole bunch of new adventures in a city I haven't known in almost 7 years. Instead I got this city with a transportation system that's WORSE than Leth (hard to believe, I know), all these possibilities for new jobs and none of them pans out, and two halves of a church I once loved. I have met some very helpful people along the way (none of whom have been bus drivers, for the record), but that's where the chain breaks down. And that, in turn, is why I'm breaking down. Not truly having a breakdown, but this city is slowly crushing my spirit, which is also crushing my Scottish dream. Every week I don't have a job is another week I dip into my savings account and push my dream farther away. Now I don't mean to sound like a whiny baby, but I'm fed up being trapped in a vortex of not making enough money to save quickly, and that's a large part of why I'm back in RD.

ARGH. Seriously, someone get me out of this city!!

The reason I chose to call this post 'Let Me Feel You Shine' (from David Crowder's last album Give Us Rest) is because I really connected to the lyrics and felt like they're very accurately describing me in my current situation. *deep breath*

But through all the crap that RD is throwing at me and with all the jobs it's denying me,

God is good. All the time. God is good.