This honestly couldn't have come at a better time.




You feel the isolation, slowly take a toll
This season of waiting, is starting to get old
Looking for acceptance, and aching for a home
So tired of trying to make it out on your own

There's no easy answer, but one thing you should know
You're not alone, anywhere you go
You're not alone, hear the voice whisper to your soul
A promise you can always hold:

You're not alone, no

You're stuck in a dive and you've almost had enough
Because of what you've been through, it's difficult to trust
You're still barely hanging on, trying hard to fight
If anybody's listening, you want to know tonight

There's no easy answer, but one thing you should know
You're not alone, anywhere you go
You're not alone, hear the voice whisper to your soul
A promise you can always hold:

You're not alone, no

You're not alone
You're not alone

Reach out, don't reach within
I'm it the door, if you just let me in
Reach out for what you need
What you won't find in yourself, you will find in me

You're not alone, hear the voice whisper to your soul
I'll never leave or let you go
You're not alone, I'm with you to the end
You're not alone, I'm closer than a friend
You're not alone, and I'm with you to the end
You're not alone, closer than a friend
You're not alone

brain stew.

What do you do when your good isn't good enough?
How many times will it take for me to get it right?

It's been brought to my attention lately (through conversations with my teacher and learning my GPA) that I just didn't do as well as I though I had in my last, and most important, year in culinary school. It's also been brought to my attention that I am not the most effective leader I can be, and that my lack of proper communication skills, diplomacy, subtlety, sensitivity towards others, lack of showing initiative/setting an example for others, etc... is where I'm falling short the most (apparently those aren't the only reasons, either).

I thought, up until this past Tuesday, that I was actually doing quite well at school. It was brought to my attention, however, that I wasn't doing anywhere near as well as I'd thought. I was told so many negative things about myself and my supposed behaviour in the span of 20 minutes that I left so angry and confused that I was shaking. Let it be known that I also lost points in my practical exam for listening to my teacher. Figure that one out.

I never thought I'd say this, but I wish I could go back in time to September and do this year of school over again. Knowing what I know now, I would give up almost anything to go back and relive these past 8 months, and have a chance to better defend myself (or defend myself at all) in some key situations. So many things have become so clear to me in the past three days. Many, many missing details have been filled in, and every other perspective of every confusing situation has been revealed... the only piece that's still missing is WHY ME?! And as I typed that, a small part of me already knew that I'll never find out why me. Some things will just always remain a mystery, I guess.

Oh well, such is life. Right?