Every time I think I want to write again, I always start by going through my old posts, to see how I've advanced in my life and writing. It seldom ever happens that I actually end up writing after reading my old crap. So, here I go again, trying to make a go at this thing.
I'll start with the big news: I am no longer employed, but am simply a drifter (hopefully only for the next week or so). Yesterday was my last at a job I've had for the past 23 months; the longest I've ever had a job. It was sad, leaving, but for the best, I think (hope!). I need to, as my boss said, "get out for a while and learn to hate a whole new group of people." Well said, K; I couldn't have put it better myself. That being said, I've given my word that I would come back in the fall, provided they haven't found anyone to fill the void N and I have created in the schedule. I have a feeling that I won't regret leaving, but also have that apprehension that precedes a big change. I've only recently started to get comfortable in my life, and despite going stir-crazy at work, have been pretty darn happy lately. So why the need for a change?
I think the thing that changed my mind for certain was being hit by a car, back in October. In that small space of time between landing, realizing what the hell had just happened, trying to figure out if I was broken or not (and how badly), and realizing I had to lay there until the ambulance came to scrape me off the pavement, I thought. And I thought a LOT. It was probably only about 5 minutes in real time, but when you're lying in the middle of the street with a car parked 6 inches from your face and are being told not to move, that 5 minutes feels like 15 or 20. After studying the tire next to my face and introducing myself to the people kneeling beside me, helping me wait for the ambulance (a big shout-out to Kevin and Tracy! I owe you big time!!), the sequence of my thoughts went a little something like this:
-'Oh my god. What the hell just happened?! And did I hallucinate flying through the air, or was that real?'
-(After rolling over, then realizing that was a bad idea, thinking of my first aid training) 'Shit. I wonder if anything's broken. I hope nothing's broken.' (Moving fingers, toes, arms and legs) 'It doesn't feel like anything's broken, but my left knee hurts like a bitch. Crap.'
-'I vaguely remember landing on my face and skidding around a bit. I hope my face isn't broken.'
-'I think my nose is running.' (Which, unbeknownst to me at the time, was blood running down my face from the cut just under my nose.)
-'Shit. I'm on my break at work!! What the hell are they going to do without me tonight?! It was only me and N on line!'
-'Must call work and tell them I'll be late back from my break.'
-Called work and told W what just happened. The conversation went something like this:
W: "Thank you for calling CP, this is W, how may I help you?"
L: "Hey W, it's L. So I was just hit by a car, and I'm just waiting for the ambulance. Could you tell N that I'm really sorry and will probably be late back from my break, please?"
W: "You what?! Where are you?! Are you okay?! What happened?!"
L: "Well, I was crossing 3rd and 13th (which happens to be the intersection closest to my work), and a car hit me. So I'm lying in the intersection *looking up at the streetlights* ...well, just out of the intersection, waiting for the ambulance. I'll probably have to go for x-rays and stuff, so I'll let you know what's going on when I know, k?"
[Note: This is where my recollection of the conversation gets a little fuzzy, because I tried moving my legs and they started to hurt quite a bit/I realized that I probably shouldn't be on the phone with WORK. So I'm sure the conversation was longer than this, but my mind started to drift to more important things, like what I'd tell my mom. Or if I'd even tell her.]
W: "Oh my god. Okay, yeah, let me know if you need anything."
L: "Yeah, definitely. Tell N I'm sorry, please, and that I'll be back as soon as I can."
W: "Okay, I'll do that. Bye."
L: "Bye."
*end of call*
-'Crap. Now I'm not going to get to go to Scotland next summer. Figures.'
-'The sky is really beautiful today. The green of the streetlight goes well with it, too.'
...and it was about this time that the paramedics got on scene, so their questions kind of took over my thoughts until I got to the hospital. It was a rather eventful day, to say the least. But, in hindsight, probably the best thing that happened to me in a long, long time. While I was immobile/recovering/basically sitting on my ass for the better part of a month, I had time to re-adjust myself mentally, and come to the conclusion that I wouldn't be going to Scotland; yet another disappointment in my life. Oh well. I also came to the realization that I wasn't giving CP my all, and decided that when I got back into the swing of things, I would. For better or worse. Turns out it was all for the better, because it earned me the respect I'd been looking for from my boss, since I started. At least, I think it did anyway.
Enough about that now, though. On to happier things, like what the heck I'm going to do with my summer free of CP. Mayhaps working at a restaurant in RD? Mayhaps not working at a restaurant in RD, if no one will hire me? Go back to Sears (ugh) for the summer, thus proving them right for the second time since I quit "for good" in high school? Hopefully not the last option, but it's still better than being a hobo for three months (no offence to hobos intended). Maybe find something else fun in RD (if that even exists?). I'm open to almost all options at this point, and if it's fun enough, I'm even open to staying in RD, come the fall. I think the only thing bringing me back to Leth is school. And CP. (Will I lose my job if I don't say CP?) But school is definitely #1 on that list, and, right now, I'm not sad to leave CP.
But I'll definitely come back for the boys in my class. Wow, okay, that sounded more than a little wrong. That's not what I meant, I promise. So I'm signing off today with a couple quotes I saw on Twitter today...
I love Friday. Friday is like my best friend. Saturday is like my mum and Sundays are like my nan. Monday is Hitler.
"I need commitment" said Amy. Mark ripped off his shirt and wrote "Amy's" on his chest in permanent marker. Now, she felt safe to love him.
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