marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul.

I've been thinking recently about the rest of 2011, and how/where I'll spend it. There are many options, and most of them have only been presented to me recently, thus sending my plans for 2012 spinning almost into oblivion. (Which is quite distressing.)

I've been so sure of my plan to flee the country for so long now that it's really hard to see that plan be replaced by something so ..... permanent. Also, let it be known that I'm still trying to get over the fact that I don't hate Leth anymore. I've hated it for most of the 4 years I've lived here, and it's only been since September 2010 that I've found deeper connections within this city of transient students.

To make it less confusing (to myself, mostly), I'm going to present my list of options in list-form in its most complete, and most recent form. Here goes nothing...

Option 1 (aka-The Original Plan):
-Stay in Leth until I'm done school in May, move back home, work at TnT for the summer/fall, save money for various trips/moves, take a trip to Europe in August, spend xmas with my mom in RD, then move to Scotland in January in 2012.

Option 2:
-Finish school and leave CP, but find a different job and stay in Leth for the summer/fall (except for the trip to Europe in August), until I move to Scotland in January 2012.

Option 3:
-Finish school and DON'T leave CP, work my bum off till September (except for the Europe thing), move out to Egrn and work for the 'fall season' (September-November?), take xmas off and spend it with my mom in RD, then move to Scotland in January 2012.

Option 4:
-Finish school and just stay in Leth. Forever. Except for the trip in August. But still forever. In Leth.

Option 5:
-Some freak combination of any of the previous options.

Now, all of the options presented have a special meaning for me, and I'd loveloveLOVE to stay here forever, except for the fact that it's a city either built for students, young families, or retirees. As of May 13th, I will no longer be a student, and thus will no longer fit into any of those aforementioned categories. (I already feel like I don't fit into any of those categories; I can only imagine how I'll feel when I officially don't fit them...)

Honestly, too, the only constant in my life (except stress) for the past 7 months has been Jesus, and I haven't even asked Him what He thinks about any of these plans. All of these plans have dictated by me, my heart, or what others think and have told me I should do. Obviously nothing's final until I've moved, gotten on a plane with all my stuff, or ended up in some psychiatric facility pleading temporary insanity... and even then, I'm sure things are negotiable.

Please, please, please pray for me for God to give me a ridiculously clear and undisputable direction for my life in the next year. (A smack upside the head would be a quite welcome sign, at this point.)

I'm learning that I don't do well with change.



Soundtrack to my life at the moment: Mumford & Sons (Sigh No More)

rant

I should probably get a few things off my chest, but as I've witnessed many a good friendship go awry after a misplaced/poorly timed rant, this is how it'll go:

Rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant, rant!

There. I feel much better now.