I've been feeling really reflective lately, mostly about life and how much a year can change one person and how much one person can change in a year.

Last year, I had just turned 18, I was still in high school and still working almost full-time hours trying to save money for University, which I was planning on attending this year. I was teaching Sunday School every sunday and still desperately trying to make myself be the image I was portraying to the world. I didn't know the best friends a person could have and I had never even heard of Camp Evergreen. I felt all alone in the world, helping my best friend prepare for her upcoming wedding. I had just moved with my mom into a new house and I hated it. I suddenly had to depend on her for almost everything again. I didn't drive (still don't), and she drove me to school and work every day for the rest of the year. I hated it. I still do. I wanted to escape to Saskatchewan and just be one of Kinasao's staff members just like I had been the summer before. I knew I hated counseling, but I had figured that I could work in the kitchen or somewhere else that was behind the scenes. If I knew then what I know now, I'm not sure if I'd repeat everything just as I had. But I know that, throughout everything that's happened in the past year, I wouldn't change my time at Evergreen for anything. I learned so much about myself and met some of the best people I've ever known. I always thought the worst thing that could ever happen to me was if someone knew my secrets. I'd been betrayed more than once before and I thought that if I just kept my life to myself, nothing bad could happen to me. I was a robot. I learned how to not let my emotions affect me through almost eight years of emotional and psychological abuse. (Don't get me wrong here, I'm not playing the victim or waving a Martyr Stick, I'm simply writing what's in my head.)

I've been thinking lately if staying at the office where I currently work would be the best thing for me, and much to the dismay of a few people I work with, I've decided that it's not. It's a great job and the people are (for the most part) really great.

On this hand... On the other hand... Wait. How many hands do I have??

Hey dudes! Sorry it's taken me so long to update this dang thing. It's been busy, but sadly it's going to get a lot less busy very soon. Remember that cushy government job that landed in my lap a while ago? Well, last thursday my boss and the executive director called me into his office to talk, and they gave me my two weeks' notice. It seems I was hired on a 3-month temp position, and they neglected to tell me that I was hired a good month into the term of this position. So I only get 6 weeks instead of 12. Yee haw, welcome to the government. And now that the shock's worn off, I've come into yet another dilemma...to Lethbridge or to Calgary (who still haven't gotten back to me yet)? Btw, I'm talking about Univerity here. I'd be going for a BA in English or a double major of English and French...depends on how motivated I am. Or! Mystery option number 3...Africa.

I'd appreciate any constructive comments as to which you, my friends/sibling, think I should do. I know what my mom wants, and I think I know which one would work best for me at this point in time, but I'd still like to know what y'all think in all this. Thanks! Love you all!

Ciao.

NOTICE!!

This post is just for Cort, a former co-worker of mine...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

(And sorry this is coming a day late.)

I hope you find every joy in this next year that you've always wanted.

~Blackbird

ps-You're amazing. 'Tis all.

Senators vs. Sabres (Feb. 22, 2007)

So, since I'm not really updating this thing all too regularily, I thought I'd share something so amazing with y'all that you won't really notice when I don't update all the time...



I'm not particularily fond of either of these two teams, but I think that the fact that this fight was so big and they were going to give out so many penalties that they had to re-schedule the game for two nights later. Including the two goalies. And the two coaches. Just..a-freaking-mazing.

Hockey fights like this are the next best thing when one can't watch a real Rugby game.

Enjoy!