forgetful waltz

Recently, I've realized just how much I say the phrases "Sure, yeah" and "Yeah, sure." And I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet.

Also, I made a promise to myself many, many years ago (what feels like a lifetime, to be honest) that once I walked away from the church, I wouldn't go back. Promise broken. I promised myself that I wouldn't regret leaving, because life was clearly better on the outside. Promise broken. In one moment of complete weakness, I also promised that if I heard one specific song in worship again (remember that I never thought I would go back, so it was a moot point), I would take that as a sign that I was in the right place...or something. I honestly didn't know at that point what I would do if I ever heard that song again, because every time i'd heard it before, it had torn my heart out and put the words of that feeling on the screen in front of me. Or it just tore my heart out and stood there in front of me, holding my still-beating heart, grinning. And, let me tell you, not many songs can do that to me. I could probably name all of them on one hand, and still have fingers left when I'm done counting. Off the top of my head, I count two. And lately, I've been searching out songs that produce those reactions in me, just to prove that I'm still alive.

Instead, it seems, I've found something else in my quest for heart-tearing songs. Something completely different, and yet, completely perfect. I'm loath to talk about, for now at least. But don't worry, it's nothing important enough to not have told the most important people (KG). For now, I think, I'll just scoot off to bed; morning comes way too early these days.

Until next time, keep fit and have fun!