xmas

Imagine this, my Christmas:

I stayed up until 4am Christmas morning, for absolutely no reason. Thus, I slept until after noon. 12.15, I think.

I blantantly ignored all the Merry Christmas text messages I got for over 3 hours in some cases, because I was mad at them for waking me up, wishing me well.

Once I was awake, I came to the sickening realization that I didn't have a Christmas present for my mom. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it.

Once awake and semi-functioning, I sat on the computer for the next 5-ish hours, reading and making my mom watch FailBlog.org videos with me.

When we finally started cooking, my mom added too much flour to the gravy after I had used a roux to thicken it, so it turned into a tasteless, odourless, colourless, gelatinous goo.

We were going to actually be classy and have some wine with xmas dinner, but my mom couldn't get the corkscrew to catch (because she's left handed), so I tried. And broke the (probably decade-old, Dollar Store) corkscrew off in the cork. So no wine.

My mom boiled the turkey breast in about 5 cups of water for about 3 hours, so it was dry as a popcorn fart and completely tasteless. But she loves pepper, so there were HUGE bits of pepper, and it was SO spicy.

The dressing was from a box, and was easily the best part of the meal.

The carrots were drowned in water, microwaved tastless and unseasoned.

She couldn't find the motor part for the beaters, so she used an immersion blender to 'whip' the whipping cream, turning into a spackle-like paste to go on top of the mini pumpkin pie, which had been in the freezer for a year-and-a-half (it tasted like it, too).

The potatoes and sweet potatoes were also boiled, but actually well done, if a little unseasoned.

...but, so far, I don't think I've ever had a better time at home since I moved out. Lots of laughs, a tear or two (as a result of said laughter), and stories upon stories upon stories have been told and created.