What If I Stumble?

Hey guys.

Anyone know what it's like to work with food all day; to gather ingredients, prepare it, smell a work in progress and finally, to taste what you've created? It's an amazing job. Truly. I love my job with all my being. It's just that simple, and there're no other words for it. I love my job!

But, on the downside, lately I've been feeling like crap. Plain and simple. It's not the greatest feeling in the world, but it's become more and more natural to me these days. There might be days when I'm feeling really happy, but act like a jerk to everyone I see. Some might say it's just me being moody, others might say it's PMS. When, in fact, it's neither. It's the outcome of some vastly important issues between God and me that I've yet to deal with.

Ever since I moved out here in September, I've been blindsided with so many new issues that I've never had to deal with before I grew up 'n' stuff. It's been tough, but, all in all, really rewarding. I live with four amazing girls, in a house that's full of crazy times, late nights, insanity and fun. One of the girls is crazy smart, but won't admit it to anyone. She's so strong and hospitable that she makes me want to be like her, but I'd never tell her because she'd think I was on something. Another one is, again, really smart. She's so passionate about most everything she does, and never fails to amaze me all the time. There are two other girls, who spend so much time away from home that I really haven't had ample time to get to know them as well as I'd hoped I would when I first moved out here. One of said two is slightly trying on my patience sometimes, but I love her all the same. Although, my idiocyncrasies aren't a valid reason to undo all the time we've known each other. The other of the pair was quite a good friend at the beginning of the summer, but due to some unfortunate circumstances, we've drifted far, far apart in the short time we've shared a living space. I understand that not everyone gets along, and that we each have junk to work through, but it's difficult to see what used to be a good friend slowly turning into just another passer-by. I also understand that we probably have some major differences that'll make this year a little harder than anticipated; with everyone here. But, through challenges, we become far greater than before.

I'm pretty sure this was going to end up as a 'pity party' entry at first, but with God's strength and my own willingness to actually listen to Him more than before, I've overcome some of the smaller issues I've had to work through. Now on to the big leagues...

~Blackbird