To my surprise, this year, once I returned to RD, I felt instantly at home. I've missed this dirty city; well, I've missed TnT more than anything. When I saw TnT, I nearly cried, I was so happy to just be near it again. I miss those boys so, so much.
When I got home, after the expected hugs 'n' such from the mother, we settled right into our tradition of each being on a computer, right next to each other, and not talking. It was perfect. Then something reminded me! (probably Facebook) I wanted to share something with my mom! PHAO. As expected, she loved it, and all was well with the world.
Heading to the Chapel for the Xmas Eve service, I began to get nervous about all the people I'd see, and haven't seen in months (years?). But all passed in a pleasant blur, and mom and I returned home, only to sit at our respective computers for the next few hours. Some may think us sad for our tradition of sitting so close and yet not actually communicating, but we enjoy it, so I say Pah! to anyone who may think that.
Christmas passes in the most awesome way possible (2 naps!), and somewhere along the way, I actually convinced my mom to wrap the turkey in bacon. Her reaction the first time I suggested it: Why? My response: Why not? And somehow she AGREED. Best. Turkey. Ever. I didn't take any with me when I left, so she's probably still eating it.
So. How did I get home, some of you may wonder? Well, I happened to accept the offer of a ride from JR. Yup, you read that correctly. I spent 4.5 hours in a car with my ex. Twice actually, because we came home together, too. And except for the initial awkwardness (which, I hope was only me thinking it was awkward, not actually because it was awkward), it was quite nice, and it reminded me of all the reasons why we're still friends. The elephant in the back seat did make an appearance in conversation on the way home, and I was able to clearly (competently? less incoherently?) voice my thought processes on the night I broke up with him. Thankfully, he took it all in stride (actually, I think he may have been the one who initially brought it up), and commended me (in a weird way) for listening to God instead of just taking the route I wanted.
My exact explanation, verbatim? "God said no."
Honestly though, we were only together for exactly 2 weeks. And who would have thought that I would be the one to end my first relationship? I certainly didn't, that's for damn sure. God just seemed to blindside me with a resounding NO when I brought my relationship before Him, and the more I fought Him on it, the louder His answer became. There were also a few very small signs (5 stitches is small, right?) that told me I was being stupid in running. 'Freak accident' or not, I believe that was God kicking me in the face (well, wrist), and forcing me to listen. Thankfully I didn't have to drive off the rooad and down a hill for that to happen (actually happened to JR last year). So I did. It may have taken me a few more days, but I did eventually listen. And except for the actual I-broke-up-with-my-first-boyfriend part, it hasn't been too terrible. We're on the same worship team at church/are both part of the Lunch Group, which forced a familiarity quite soon after I ended things, which was most likely for the best.
I’m learning that I tend to run from situations/silently put up with crap that I don’t want to deal with/stand up to, and I will run from/put up with it for a long time. Two and a half years (so far) is my record, and as it stands, it’ll end at the three year mark. But! Less about work, more sleep. I’ll leave with a couple final thoughts.
Keep fit and have fun,
-L
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